eDrinker

“Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know.”

Ordination

| Filed under Emails

Actually got a reply on this one, although he didn’t reply after the 2nd mail. Perhaps this was a little to over the top compared to my previous emails, but it still makes me laugh.

———- Forwarded message ———-
From: Oliver Jon Cross <OliverDotCross@GmailDotCom>
Date: 2009/11/19
Subject: Re: Ordination
To: Father Simon <fathersimon@XXXXX.co.uk>
>
>
>Hey Simon,
>
>What does a bible and a penis have in common ?
>
>
>
>Both get shoved down your throat by a Priest
>
2009/11/19 Father Simon <fathersimon@@XXXXX.co.uk>:
> Oops – I think I forgot to attach the Alleluia and Psalm (which we
> probably won’t be using!)
>
> Beeny Hinn – ah yes – strange how Lourdes only has two attested
> miracles and received millions of pilgrims per year. He miraculously
> heals thousands at each sitting!
>
> Best wishes,
>
> Simon
>
> —– Original Message —– From: “Oliver Jon Cross”
> <OliverDotCross@GmailDotCom>
> To: “Father Simon” <fathersimon@@XXXXX.co.uk>
> Sent: Thursday, November 19, 2009 12:13 PM
> Subject: Re: Ordination
>
>
> Dear Simon,
>
> Oh yes, thank you for reminding me. I was thinking of bringing
> something a little different. Perhaps “I’m the Leader of the Gang (I
> Am)” and “Hello, Hello, I’m Back Again” as I know it’s the children’s
> favourite. Any way must dash; I must call Benny Hinn as it’s the
> second time this month he’s left his wand in the Priory.
>
> Speak Soon,
>
> Oliver
>
> 2009/11/19 Father Simon <fathersimon@@XXXXX.co.uk>:
>>
>> Dear Father,
>>
>> Thanks for agreeing to play for the Ordination on Saturday.
>>
>> I hope that you have the music for the Spatzenmasse. Apart from that
>> there is Ave Verum by Mozart, Alleluia and Psalm (althogh this night
>> have changed apparently). I attach copies of the latter.
>>
>> We are rehearsing from 10 am and it would be great if you were there then.
>> If you need to speak to me my number is XXXX XXX XXXX.
>>
>> Best wishes,
>>
>> Simon

Academic Publishing (University Thesis)

| Filed under eDrinker Emails

It’s been a while but I got an email that wasn’t for me and surprisingly it wasn’t from the Church either.

—–Original Message—–
From: Oliver Jon Cross [mailto:OliverDotCross@GmailDotCom]
Sent: 29 May 2009 16:48
To: XXX@XXX-publishing-house.com
Subject: Re: Academic Publishing (University Thesis)

Dear Ms Soogah,

Thank you for your email. I would be truly delighted for you to publish my feces. Obviously sending a fresh stool is never an easy task. Previously I have met with “publishers” in a discrete venue of their choice. From there you may help yourself to my clay pit.

Please let me know when you have made arrangements.

Regards,

O.Cross

2009/5/29 <XXX@vdm-XXX.com>:
> Dear Cross Godfrey Oliver,
>
>
> I am writing on behalf of the German publishing house, XXX Verlag Dr. Müller XXXXXXXXXX.
>
>
> In the course of a research at the “The University of Southern Mississippi”, I came across a reference to your thesis on “Desegregation of MiamiDade County public schools 19541959″. We are a German-based publisher whose aim is to make academic research available to a wider audience. XXXXX would be especially interested in publishing your dissertation in the form of a printed book.
>
>
> Your reply including an e-mail address to which I can send an e-mail with further information in an attachment will be greatly appreciated.
>
>
> I am looking forward to hearing from you.
>
> -
> Best Regards,
>
> XXX XXX
> Acquisition Editor
>
> XXX Publishing House Ltd.
>
> 17, Meldrum XXX. | Beau-XXX | Mauritius Tel / Fax: +230 XXX
>
> XXX@XXX-publishing-house.com | www.XXX-publishing-house.com
>
> Business Registration No.: C070XXXX
> Board of Directors: Katalin X, Benoit X, Saleem X

Guy Fakes A Heart Attack At Court

| Filed under Videos

This guy tries to fake a heart attack in court, how embarrassing.