Priest and The Pimp

Posted on September 28th, 2007 in Emails by Oliver.Cross

Today I got another email from the parish again, only this time inviting me to attend the sixth annual Lecture and Study Day. Also known as “Mary: Grace and Hope in Christ”. Anyway you know the routine.

Dear Reverend Membery,

I would be delighted to attend the sixth annual Lecture and Study Day.
However I was wondering if you can send me some transport, maybe the company limousine? Also a couple of bitches so I can hang out with my wang out.

P.S. Do you mind if my friend John the Rabbi comes along, he’s looking forward to it just as much as me. Attached is a copy of me and John at last year’s conference.

http://www.planetc1.com/n/images/chiropractors_halloween_braile_harmen.jpg

Yours faithfully,

Oliver Cross

On 27/09/2007, Bishop of Beverley’s Office <xxx@3-north-lane.fsnet.co.uk> wrote:
> … attached. Let me know if you can’t open.
>
> Lynn C-H

It’s Finaly Here - Halo 3 Review

Posted on September 25th, 2007 in eDrinker by Oliver.Cross

Yesterday I picked up a copy of Halo 3 and I couldn’t believe my luck to get it a day early. I put in a good couple of hours, even though I wish I could have played more. First of all the new HD graphics are amazing and it’s so easy to see where all the extra time and effort has been put in and especially since I’ve spent the last few weeks hyping myself by playing Halo 2. To really take advantage of Halo 3 and all its greatness you need to play this next generation game on a high definition TV. This time around you can see the grass blade tear up when you’re driving the Warhog right down to the covenant’s dead bodies floating on the surface of the water.

Almost instantly I noticed some really cool additions to Halo 3. First of all you will notice Bungie quite cleverly tweaked the layout of the control system. Now X which was once reload is now used to deploy equipment. These items have various effects and functions, ranging from defensive effects (Bubble Shield and Regenerator), or objects which blind or confuse the enemy (Flare and Radar Jammer), to ones which can actually harm and kill (Power Drainer and Tripmine). My personal favourite has to be the radar jammer, because you can drop this cleaver little ball and run round freely without having to crouch walk like a turtle. The overall experience of Halo 3 is smooth, sharp and action packed and just like Bungie they’ve kept the 3 golden rules of Halo: Grenades, Melee and Guns.

This morning I was very disappointed to see all the retarded posts on Game FAQs and on the official Bungie home page. There were so many posts stating how it was over hyped and how they hate the story line. If you do get the legendary product take the time to watch the making and you will see instantly how much effort and time was put in to this fantastic game, film, amazing experience. Here are just some of the most exciting parts I’ve experienced so far:

  • Being chased by a scarab with its own AI, not like the original one first seen in Halo 2
  • The hammer is one nasty weapon, nothing more satisfing that slamming the hammer in to a pile of grunts and watching them fly
  • Spartan laser, this weapon seriously rocks. Paint your target and 3 seconds later watch a huge beam of light turn it to rubble.
  • Massive battlefields
  • 4 player online co-op
  • New equipment that’s going to redefine online team game tactics
  • New AI, sometimes you can feel like the hunted and there is so much more I’ve yet to discover

Today the official online service are up, so tonight I’m going to give it a shot online. Personally I would easily give Halo 3 9/10 and if you don’t like it STFU, no one cares if you prefer the story line in Ratchet and Clank. Remember we’ve come a long way in computer games and believe it or not and Bungie have just raised a whole new bar for all other FPS to meet.

Love Bungie

Arnold Schwarzenegger Prank Call

Posted on September 23rd, 2007 in Videos by Oliver.Cross

Just one more prank call to wind up todays postings.

VCR on top of door

Posted on September 23rd, 2007 in Videos by Oliver.Cross

I’ve seen buckets of water placed on top of doors but a VCR, that thing is heavy. It’s got to hurt bad.

Joe Pesci Prank Call

Posted on September 23rd, 2007 in Videos by Oliver.Cross

This video goes perfectly after watching when Sesame Street and Casino meet video.

When Sesame Street and Casino Meet

Posted on September 23rd, 2007 in Videos by Oliver.Cross

The plot line and action in Casino was so great I think I could have watched the whole film like this. Here is a famous scene from Casino but acted it by Bert and Ernie from Sesame Street.

Al Pacino Prank Call

Posted on September 23rd, 2007 in Videos by Oliver.Cross

I can’t believe how much these people get wound up by these obvious prank calls.

Be Abused

Posted on September 23rd, 2007 in Videos by Oliver.Cross

Ok, just one more for Halo 3. I thought this was a great spoof of the recent Halo TV ad that’s been shown recently. The funny thing is, this is what Xbox live is really like. I love it and can’t wait. If only I wasn’t working or having to go to Barcelona next week.

10 Ways To Tell If You’re a Noob (Halo)

Posted on September 23rd, 2007 in Videos by Oliver.Cross

Only three or four more days to go till Halo 3, it’s pretty annoying that some shops have sold it early and now there are thousands of pirate copies floating around on the internet. Some of us have been waiting a good couple of years for this.

The Church Are At It Again

Posted on September 21st, 2007 in Emails by Oliver.Cross

Today I received another email regarding the chuch from a Banks Music Publications, obviously mistaking me with father Coss instead of Oliver Cross. I know there is only one letter difference but for Christ sake this has got to be the 20th email I’ve received. As you might know from reading my blog before I’ve had to take things in to my own hands just to stop this spam.

This time the email wasn’t so obvious but I did a little research and I managed to find what happened. In the original email the requester is searching for the organ sheet music Langlais “Triptyque Gregorien”. I then looked up the company Banks Music Publications, which is a choral sheet music specialist. Anyway you can read the rest for yourself.

———- Orginal message ———-
From: Oliver Jon Cross <oliver.cross@gmail.com>
Date: 21 Sep 2007 13:39
Subject: Re: Langlais “Triptyque Gregorien”
To: Banks Music Publications <XXX@tiscali.co.uk>

Dear Mr Warnes,

Thank you for your reply; unfortunately here at the church we’ve had a change in taste. Can you please let me know if you have the sheet music for Prodigy “Smack My Bitch Up”.

Yours sincerely,

Oliver

On 21/09/2007, Banks Music XXX @tiscali.co.uk> wrote:
> Dear Oliver Cross,
>
> Thank you for your e-mail concerning the above title.
>
> This is available, price £14.50 plus postage and packing.
>
> I will be ordering today, if you wish me to add this to the order
> please let me know.
>
> Yours sincerely,
>
> XXX Warnes
> Banks Music Publications

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