It’s been a while since I’ve had a rant. Growing up I was one of first out of my friends to get a mobile phone. Just before the launch of pay as you go. Year on year I would make sure I had the best handset which back then was probably all Nokia’s. I always had a keen interest in staying with the latest technology but I stopped buying any new models until about two years ago when the first smart phones started to emerge. I wanted to setup a way for customer to pay for their drinks before they reached the bar. Originally I thought a touch screen monitor similar to that of the new cash registers was the way forward. Customers could pay on their card, Paypal or Money Bookers (Now Skrill). I believe it could have sped up the serving times of bars and eliminating manual mistakes as well. I threw eWallets in there because of the small fees on smaller transactions under £5.00 which might have proved popular with students. I picked up my first smart phone about half a year later and after doing some research I decided to go with Android and a Samsung. If there was anything I wanted to do on an iPhone I knew I could do that and more on Android. For example I’m using a custom ROM which has been benchmarked faster than the preloaded OS (www.darkyrom.com). Anyway, I thought it has to be possible to pay for items on my phone now. Surely I can use a preloaded eWallet or transfer straight from my bank without the use of a card or physical cash. Well it appears in the UK its moving that way and I was happy to see more TV advertising showing the ability to transfer funds between other users of the same bank via an app and surely the progression to send money to live shops must be around the corner.
So where’s my gripe? I had to setup a new bank account this week and I was amazed how much is still done on paper. My first attempt was to bring the correct documents; unfortunately I missed one of the items that were required so I blame myself for the 45 minute queue. The next day I returned with the basic items such as my proof of work via contract and tax form. My first hurdle was when I had to provide the original documents and not the clear colour photocopies that I arrived with. Frustrated I might have to come back on a third day I asked why they would need the originals; obviously you won’t be keeping them as proof. No of course not, they need to sign and verify that the paper work I was providing was legitimate. I’m not against old age but I had no belief that she was capable of seeing a forgery via Photoshop anyway. The codes and references on my tax form were redundant; there is no online database to prove they were real either. Ok she could see my frustration and she let me off and made a BLACK AND WHITE photocopy signing that it was the official. A black and white copy, not stored electronically anywhere that I could see. Possibly taken on the poorest quality photocopier judging by the fact as I was continually questioned each letter when entering the details. I was thinking what happens in the future if someone wants to verify this document; what if the clerk isn’t there anymore does her signature mean anything? For me it’s quite mind boggling to know there is so much technology out there but we are using the same procedures we had maybe 10 years ago. In fact during the registration process, I could see the majority of the questions had to be filled online and it occurred to me I might have been able to do this myself from home. Ok I actually had to come back a third time, but that’s because the woman who could authorise my account was out on lunch and I kindly explained I’ve already used my one hour lunch break and do you mind if I come back tomorrow for my account details.
The third day I return to collect my account details with relief to say the least. I am told the basics; your card will arrive in 5-7 days and a few days after that you will receive your PIN. Ok, anything else? Oh yeah you have to come in to the bank to activate your card, WHY? Ok I’ll bring in a cup of my urine while I’m at it. Do it this way, fuck my card I don’t one. Give me an app and my phone is secure with two levels and I’ll pay that way. Ok we aren’t ready for that, so send me my physical card and at the same time send me my PIN via email, I have two layer verification on my Gmail. It requires my password a random number via my phone to access the account known as Google Authentication app. I mean the thief has to break in to my letter box and steal my phone while getting past the phone PIN, grid pass and know my physical Gmail password. Trust me this isn’t hard to setup and I guarantee there are twelve year old kids already doing it. I am concerned muggings might deter from the regular ATM machines and happen in back alleys with a few keystrokes and a flick knife but at least the transaction is logged to the muggers would be account. Hopefully his account isn’t registered in Botswana where they have no jurisdiction.
We live in a day of technology but the innovation is taking far too long to reach the real world. I see “Game” the company is in some financial difficulties and I actually worked for them for two years during college. I’m sorry people are going to lose their jobs, but I hope they start allowing us to download games on launch date. It makes sense, cheaper to make, no packaging or distribution and people can download on midnight launch so they wake up to play what they’ve been waiting for. Just don’t charge us the same price because that’s not fair. In fact it’s never been fair to charge all games the same price. I mean GTA 4 has hours and hours of game play whereas Disney’s Magic Micky’s Time Travel Extravaganza on the PS3 costs the same price. Actually I don’t know if that last game exists I just wanted to try and spell extravaganza, but you get my point.
Doesn’t matter how frustrated I get, this video always makes me laugh out loud.
Updated: Six physical letters later (waste of paper) and a form I have to fill in and send off via mail to activate my card. Electronic email activation would have been just fine.
